9 Things to consider when on a First Date
Dating can both be a very challenging and scary thing to do which many people struggle with (especially if they don’t have any previous experience).
If you think you belong to this category then the questions of “How will I do this?” and “How am I even meant to do this?” as well as statements like “I’m too nervous” might sound familiar. Yes, dating often is actually much more difficult than people presume it to be, particularly when everyone has a different definition and understanding of it.
Tip 1: It’s important that you and the person you are talking to or want to approach are on the same page regarding this.
Tip 2: ‘Honesty is the policy.’ I think most women (and men) appreciate a straightforward answer and someone that voices their true intentions before getting deeply involved in something. This is important because you don’t want to find yourself in a situation where your emotions are not reciprocated and the date is quite one-sided.
Of course, this does not mean listing a 20-year joint plan for your tinder date that includes you two being married and settled down with a camp of children. However, if you do feel like you cannot be with someone who doesn’t want or like children then that’s something to subtly ask. This will not only put you two on the same page but will make you feel at ease once you receive a clear reply.
Tip 3: A lot of people make the mistake of bombarding their dates with excessive information on themselves. It’s important that you two keep a balanced conversation where both of you ask a similar number of questions.
Whilst it’s great that you are passionate about trains and it would also be something that she acknowledges, sadly it may not keep them as entertained as you would hope so.
Tip 4: Share your ambitions and dreams and ask about theirs. It’s not only good to be on the same track concerning family plans but profession-wise. By asking your date about their future plans you don’t only learn about them as people, but it will allow you to gauge whether you two are on the same level of maturity and heading towards similar goals.
Tip 5: Share interesting facts about yourself. If you want to be loved for yourself then be fully honest and don’t be afraid to mention your quirks. By sharing these intimate qualities you may paint a much more humane and unique picture of yourself to others.
Tip 6: Look for similarities and differences between you two. It’s okay if you two are different. You know how the saying goes: opposites attract. Whilst that is a good notion to live by, it may be even better if you could find someone with common interests.
This would allow you to have in-depth discussions about topics that both of you are equally passionate about. Another advantage of being interested in similar things is that you two can attend events and workshops together.
Nevertheless, being interested in contrasting things compared to your partner is not a problem at all until both of you respect each other and value the other one’s hobbies. In fact, this could even be the ideal opportunity for you two to explore new and common interests. This may include going to the gym together, mountain climbing, or simply walking in the park after a nice warm mug of tea.
Tip 7: Make sure that you and your date have similar values (if that’s what you are looking for). Initially, not many people realize the impact of their family background on their personality.
Things that you may consider completely normal may be strange to others. Due to this, it’s important that you make sure that your date has similar fundamental values and approaches to politics, religion and culture.
Of course, love knows no limits, however, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be several months into a relationship to find out that your partner is a supporter of your most detested politician (or that they consider themselves Atheists when God and religious faith plays a significant role in your life).
Whilst it’s possible to accept and work around these differences, it might be easier if you would be with someone who could almost telepathically hear your thoughts when watching the news.
Tip 8: Linking to one’s values is appearance. Do you like your date’s outfit? Are they elegant or do they dress to impress a guy?
Tip 9: Recently the issues concerning one’s mental health became a widespread topic of discussion. Following the policy of honesty, by subtly addressing the state of your own mental health and enquiring about your date’s, you two will have a better understanding of one another.
Nowadays a lot of people struggle from anxiety and depression and often require a form of support base through their partner. It’s great to have someone to support and for someone to lend a shoulder to cry on when needed, however, you have to make sure that there is a healthy balance.Whilst it is important for one to be there for their partners, it’s good to be aware of the other person’s needs regarding this issue. If you feel very unstable mentally then do re-consider the intentions of your dating: are you searching for a partner or solely for someone to rely on? Would you be able to support your partner while having a toxic job (and vice versa)?