Is Someone Spying on Your Phone? How to Detect and Safely Remove Stalkerware

If you have a nagging feeling that a partner, ex, or family member knows too much — where you’ve been, who you’ve messaged, things you only said in a “private” chat — you may not be imagining it. Stalkerware is software secretly installed on a phone to monitor everything on it: messages (including WhatsApp and Signal), calls, location, photos, browsing, and sometimes even the microphone and camera. This guide explains how to tell if it’s on your device and how to remove it — but the most important part comes first, because with stalkerware, how and when you act matters as much as what you do.

Read this first: your safety comes before removal

This is the single most important thing on this page, and every domestic-violence and cybersecurity organization agrees on it: do not immediately delete stalkerware if there’s any chance the person who installed it could react dangerously.

Here’s why. Stalkerware silently reports to whoever installed it. The moment it stops sending data — because you removed it — that person is notified that you’ve discovered it. Research from the National Network to End Domestic Violence shows the most dangerous time for someone in an abusive relationship is precisely when they assert independence or try to leave. Abruptly cutting off an abuser’s surveillance can trigger escalation.

So before you touch anything:

• If you feel you may be in danger, don’t act alone. Use a different, trusted device (a friend’s phone, a library computer) — not the phone you suspect is compromised — to reach out for help. Anything you type or search on a monitored phone can be seen.
• Talk to a domestic-violence advocate who understands technology-facilitated abuse. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 (call or text). The Coalition Against Stalkerware (stopstalkerware.org) and NNEDV’s Safety Net project (techsafety.org) offer free, specialized guidance. Outside the US, contact your national domestic-violence service.
• Consider preserving evidence first. Deleting stalkerware also deletes proof of it. If you may want to involve police or pursue legal action, document what you find (photos of suspicious apps/settings from a safe device) before removing anything.
• Make a safety plan. Advocates can help you plan the safest way and time to remove surveillance — which sometimes means getting an entirely new device rather than cleaning the old one.

If the situation is not dangerous — say, you suspect a nosy acquaintance rather than a violent partner — the immediate risk is lower, but it’s still wise to be careful. The rest of this guide assumes you’ve considered your safety and decided it’s okay to proceed.

Warning signs of stalkerware

There’s no single guaranteed sign, and good stalkerware is designed to hide. But a pattern of these clues is worth taking seriously:

• The other person knows things they shouldn’t — your exact location, the content of private messages, who you talked to, what you searched. This behavioral clue is often the strongest signal of all.
• They had physical access to your phone. Stalkerware usually needs a few minutes of hands-on access to install (or arrives pre-installed on a “gift” phone).
• Battery drains unusually fast, or the phone feels warm while idle — this can indicate surveillance running constantly in the background.
• Unexplained spikes in data usage, especially data sent at odd hours (like late at night when you’re not using the phone).
• Unexpected changes in settings, unfamiliar apps, or the phone behaving oddly (lighting up, restarting).

None of these alone proves stalkerware — but several together justify a closer look.

How to check your phone

The simplest first step: run a reputable anti-malware scan. Good security apps now specifically detect stalkerware. Malwarebytes (a co-founder of the Coalition Against Stalkerware) and other established vendors will scan your device and flag monitoring apps. This is the easiest route for most people — but remember the safety warning above before removing anything it finds.

On Android (the most common target, because it allows app installation from outside the Play Store):

• Check Settings > Apps for anything unfamiliar — though stalkerware often disguises itself as a harmless-looking “system,” “calculator,” or “Wi-Fi” app.
• Check Settings > Accessibility. Stalkerware abuses accessibility permissions to read your screen and log keystrokes. Any unfamiliar app with accessibility access is a serious red flag.
• Check Settings > Security > Device Admin apps. Monitoring apps often grant themselves administrator rights to block being uninstalled.
• Check whether “Install from unknown sources” is enabled when you didn’t enable it, and look for rooting apps (SuperSU, Magisk, KingRoot) — a sign someone modified your phone.

On iPhone (harder to compromise, but not immune):

• Traditional stalkerware generally requires a jailbroken device — look for apps like Cydia or Sileo that you didn’t install.
• More commonly, iPhone surveillance happens through iCloud account abuse: if someone has your Apple ID password, they can see your synced messages, photos, and location via Find My — with no app on your phone at all. Check for devices you don’t recognize in your Apple ID settings.
• Check Settings > General > VPN & Device Management for configuration profiles you didn’t add.
• On iOS 16 or later, use Settings > Privacy & Security > Safety Check, which lets you review and reset who has access to your information all at once.

How to remove it — once you have a safety plan

Only proceed when you’ve considered the safety steps above.

1. Preserve any evidence you might need first.
2. Revoke the app’s Device Administrator rights (Android: Settings > Security > Device Admin apps) and its Accessibility access, or it may block uninstallation.
3. Uninstall the app (Settings > Apps).
4. Run a security scan to confirm removal and catch anything else.
5. On iPhone, update iOS — updating can remove a jailbreak and the stalkerware relying on it. Use Safety Check to reset sharing.
6. The cleanest option, especially in serious cases, is a fresh start: a factory reset, or better, a new device with new accounts. Crucially, don’t restore from a backup of the old phone — that can reinstall the stalkerware.

Lock things down so it can’t happen again

Removing the app isn’t the whole job — surveillance often continues through your accounts:

• Change your passwords — email, iCloud/Google, social media, banking — to strong, unique ones (a password manager helps), and turn on two-factor authentication everywhere.
• Sign out of all active sessions on your important accounts and remove any devices you don’t recognize.
• Check account recovery settings — make sure the other person’s email or phone number isn’t set as a recovery option, and that there are no unfamiliar recovery addresses or forwarding rules.
• Secure the phone physically: set it to lock immediately, use a strong PIN or biometrics, and be cautious about anyone wanting to “fix,” “update,” or gift you a device.
• Reduce your wider footprint. Abusers also use data-broker/people-search sites to find addresses and contacts; opting out of those closes another channel.

A note on the apps that market themselves as “monitoring”

Many stalkerware products advertise themselves with softer language — “parental control,” “employee monitoring,” “keep your family safe.” Genuine parental-control software used transparently on your own child’s device is a legitimate thing. But when these tools are installed secretly on another adult’s phone without their consent, that’s not monitoring — it’s stalkerware, and it’s the exact behavior domestic-abuse and cybersecurity organizations classify as technology-facilitated abuse.

It’s also frequently illegal. Secretly intercepting someone’s communications or tracking their location without consent can violate wiretapping laws, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, and various state and national privacy statutes. The person who installs stalkerware — not the person spied on — bears the legal and moral responsibility. Everyone has the right to feel safe and in control of their own device.

Getting help

If you’re experiencing technology-facilitated abuse, you don’t have to handle it alone. These organizations offer free, specialized support:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788
• Coalition Against Stalkerware: stopstalkerware.org
• NNEDV Safety Net project: techsafety.org

Reach them from a device the other person can’t access. Trust your instincts — if something feels wrong, it’s worth checking, and there are people trained to help you do it safely.

This article is general cybersecurity and safety information, not legal advice, and it can’t replace guidance tailored to your situation. If you believe you’re in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.

Sources

• Coalition Against Stalkerware — stopstalkerware.org (information for survivors)
• U.S. Federal Trade Commission — “Stalkerware: What To Know”
• Malwarebytes — stalkerware detection and removal guidance
• National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) Safety Net project — techsafety.org