9 Things to consider when on a First Date

Dating can be very challenging and scary, and many people struggle with it (especially if they have no previous experience).

If you think you belong to this category, then the questions “How will I do this?” and “How am I even meant to do this?” as well as statements like “I’m too nervous” might sound familiar. Yes, dating is often much more difficult than people presume it to be, particularly when everyone has a different definition and understanding of it.

Tip 1: It’s important that you and the person you are talking to or want to approach are on the same page regarding this.

Tip 2: ‘Honesty is the policy.’ Most women (and men) appreciate a straightforward answer and someone who voices their true intentions before getting deeply involved. This is important because you don’t want to be in a situation where your emotions are not reciprocated, and the date is one-sided.

Of course, this does not mean listing a 20-year joint plan for your Tinder date that includes you two being married and settled down with a camp of children. However, if you feel like you cannot be with someone who doesn’t want or likes children, that’s something to subtly ask. This will not only put you two on the same page but will also make you feel at ease once you receive a clear reply.

Tip 3: Many people make the mistake of bombarding their dates with excessive information about themselves. It’s important that you two have a balanced conversation in which both of you ask a similar number of questions.

Whilst it’s great that you are passionate about trains, and it would also be something that she acknowledges, sadly, it may not keep them as entertained as you would hope.

Tip 4: Share your ambitions and dreams and ask about theirs. It’s good to be on the same track concerning family plans and profession-wise. By asking your date about their future plans, you learn about them as people and gauge whether you two are on the same level of maturity and heading towards similar goals.

Tip 5: Share interesting facts about yourself. If you want to be loved for yourself, be fully honest, and don’t be afraid to mention your quirks. By sharing these intimate qualities, you may paint a much more humane and unique picture of yourself to others.

Tip 6: Look for similarities and differences between you two. It’s okay if you two are different. You know how the saying goes: opposites attract. While that is a good notion to live by, it may be even better if you could find someone with common interests.

This would allow you to have in-depth discussions about topics that you are both equally passionate about. Another advantage of being interested in similar things is that you can attend events and workshops together.

Nevertheless, being interested in contrasting things compared to your partner is not a problem until both of you respect each other and value the other’s hobbies. This could be the ideal opportunity for you two to explore new common interests. This may include going to the gym together, mountain climbing, or simply walking in the park after a warm mug of tea.

Tip 7: Make sure you and your date have similar values (if that’s what you want). Not many people realize the impact of their family background on their personality initially.

Things that you may consider completely normal may be strange to others. Therefore, it’s important that you make sure that your date has similar fundamental values and approaches to politics, religion, and culture.

Of course, love knows no limits. However, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be several months into a relationship to find out that your partner is a supporter of your most detested politician (or that they consider themselves Atheists when God and religious faith play a significant role in your life).

While accepting and working around these differences is possible, it might be easier if you were with someone who could almost telepathically hear your thoughts when watching the news.

Tip 8: Appearance is linked to one’s values. Do you like your date’s outfit? Are they elegant, or do they dress to impress a guy?

Tip 9: Recently, issues concerning one’s mental health have become a widespread topic of discussion. Following the policy of honesty, by subtly addressing the state of your mental health and enquiring about your date, you two will better understand one another.

Nowadays, a lot of people struggle with anxiety and depression and often require a form of support based on their partner. It’s great to have someone to support and for someone to lend a shoulder to cry on when needed, however, you have to make sure that there is a healthy balance. While one needs to be there for one’s partner, knowing the other person’s needs regarding this issue is good. If you feel very unstable mentally, then do re-consider the intentions of your dating: are you searching for a partner or solely for someone to rely on? Would you be able to support your partner while having a toxic job (and vice versa)?